I am the assertive one---I would even begin to talk to a realtor and go and see some existing homes, with or without my husband. When he sees that you are serious, maybe then he will reconsider the house shopping and get on the same page as you. Marriage is a 2 way street and you do not have to do everything HIS way. With the economy and housing market now, you can get a larger, better built existing house for the same money that you would be putting into a new home. If you buy a home that is 5-10 years old, the "bugs" (not actual critters) are ironed out and it will be a great place to call your own.
Once children come along, the extra money just seems to disappear. As far as trying to get pregnant for 3 1/2 years---you have an infertility problem. Any couple who has unprotected sex for more than 6 months--12 months, is considered to have an infertility problem. You can go to an infertility specialist---did that and gave birth to 2 wonderful children after that. Adoption is also another choice. Done it both ways....and my kids are all MY kids!!! Love 'em dearly!! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.