Originally Posted by noveltyjunkie

This is a fascinating thread for me because we don't have baby showers. They don't exist in my culture. So I am already thinking that hosting a party for the sole purpose of receiving gifts for a baby that you don't even get to see yet, and inviting some fairly distant connections (sorry) and then telling them your 'theme' (we don't do that either).... Well, I am already thinking THAT is odd, so I have to work against that to give a view on a situation which I know is in fact quite normal in other places.

But I do think that someone who has a 'theme' for a baby is perhaps less likely to appreciate handmade. In the unlikely event of my ever being invited to such a party, I would not have been changing the design of my already started, precious, made with
love, quilt, I would have been keeping it for someone who would appreciate it and making a stuffed monkey instead.

As to what happened, this woman's husband called your precious work 'another blanket'. This tells us that this man forgot his manners in a big way. We also don't have the culture of opening gifts in front of people, or at least not in front of people other than the person who gave it to you. A gift represents a personal, even intimate, interaction and to have it dealt with in public always risks offense, as your situation demonstrates very well.

If I was the expectant mother, I would be totally overwhelmed in
this situation. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that I would be crying in my room, for all sorts of reasons. She is hormonal, on show, and being showered with gifts that her husband is not even letting her see properly as he jumps up and down on this box you mention- meanwhile she is facing worries about her unborn baby and the delivery. It sounds like hell on earth! How will she even know who gave what?!

I think the expectant grandmother's reaction to that fleece has hurt you a lot too. Is this woman's child married to your child? Then she needs to treat you with respect, and she didn't. (Who made that fleece? Was it one of her buddies? )


Just call me Dr Phil..... but this is not about the quilt. Families are hard. I totally understand why you feel bad, but that shower sounds like a situation where there are lots of forces at play that really are not about the quilt, so try not to make it about you. I hope you have a good relationship with your son in law and maybe having good relations with all his extended family is just too much to hope for, through no fault of yours. It is what it is.