Why not send a "gift card" from you, for a personal gift of a quilt or whatever you want to make for her. She can redeem it (or not).... I think gifts are just that~~ Gifts. The other is like asking for a "free will donation" of a specific amount. Sort of tacky in my opinion. I may be old and grouchy about this, but at my age, I do not allow others to dictate to me what I can give (or not)... Let your inner voice be your guide. Be happy. :)