I am a nurse and also a sufferer! I take an antidepressant called Effexor for the hot flashes. I was a little leary of the medication because I am a happy person and don't need the antidepressant for mood. I fel no different in personality but BOY does it help with the hot flashes!!!!!! I can't use HRT's because of a long family history of breast cancer so this was a life saver for me. Talk to your doctor and if they give you any resistance ask them to research this more. It is very common now.
Good luck.