My thought is that if the quilt is for the baby... what till the baby is old enough to love it and keep it for him/herself. Maybe 10 or so years old. Then it doesn't matter what the 'mom' does.
I totally understand the not having family you talk to. It is weird because when I was growing up my one aunt was very close with our family, and now that she has her own family we never hear from her or anything. I think sometimes it is important for us to be the bigger people, but it can be so darn hard...