I have to say, this is the funniest post ever!!! I agree you should get an award for it. Don't think I have laughed this much in years. Must say, I don't need to clean my contacts now. lol
As for making the quilt for your Mom and seeing how long it took her, or anyone else, to find them, it would have taken my Mom (rest her soul) about two seconds. She could spot an open zipper (on a man of course) a mile away. She was such a hoot, really miss her!!
Can't wait for you to post the finished quilt. Just make sure you get a picture of him when you give it to him. That will be the "priceless" picture.
Thanks so much for sharing and letting us get in on the fun.