Having this time alone has allowed my mind to reach conclusions without me really knowing I had to. That AHA! moment, or actually, a few of them.
I feel so clear-headed now, so in control, and I don't want to lose that by putting me aside for someone else.
What is important in my life is me, my kids, my job, planning for retirement by sewing things for sale - starting that side biz now. When I retire I don't want to work part time for anyone but me, otherwise, what's the point of retiring? BF seems to be OK with that but I don't feel that he is, you know? I don't want to live with him or anyone else right now. Maybe never. My kids will never be second with any man in my life and I wouldn't want to be placed above his. He should also have a plan; it's important to have a plan, it's like a dream put to paper, an achievable goal.
It isn't that I'm scared to get married I just don't want to. Ta da! :D
It seems to be all about being in control of your own life. Not letting other people win when it goes against what you want because if you want it that much and it bothers you that much, it is probably a need, and needs are necessary to survive; they become more powerful in content but less in number.
Yeah, alone time is good.