I to - went from parents home to married home...but this year I've been with my DH for 45 years! I don't know what my life is without someone. I admire your strength and fortitude. I don't know if I'd be that strong. I say if anything were to happen (God forbid) I'd never get married again. Don't get me wrong...I can't imagine my life without him - and don't want to try it.
But for each of us we have to be true to ourselves. IF he is the right one he will understand and be there for you as you walk through this journey.
Good luck to you...HUGS