Most of the quilts I've made were for Quilts for Kids and they request washing before sending. From that I learned that seams do fray and bindings are not always as secure as one could wish. :P
I did make two as gifts last Christmas and I did not wash them. I gave both with washing instructions, Color Catchers, and the verbal that I would gladly repair any seams that came loose.
I agree that washing makes them look used but I think what you decide to do depends on the circumstances.