This one came from my 83 year old grandfather, which cracked me up because he is a very sweet but VERY proper gentleman. In my entire life, I have NEVER heard him swear or tell any off-color jokes of any kind.
I was asking my grandmother what life was like when they were young, and she was telling me all kinds of fascinating things. I finally had the courage to ask her what people used for birth control back in the days before The Pill. She started to tell me about condoms and the rhythm method when my grandfather piped up and said "We took something called Noassitol!" (no-ass-at-all)....
I fell on the floor laughing. My poor grandmother could do nothing but sputter and throw her apron at him.