Congratulations and best wishes to everyone.
While neither of my sons is married, I've been a participant / observor at several weddings over the years. The last few, it seems, devolved into fertile ground for Bridezillas to work their chaos and escalating expense in direct porportion to the Bridezilla-ness.
My husband, a generous, loving, and kind man who still gets teary-eyed when speaking about our wedding 40 years ago always asks, "Why can't they get married in the church and have a small reception with cake and punch in the Fellowship Hall? People today focus so much and spend too much on one day. No one considers the marriage." Disclaimer: we were married in a church, but the concept of a simple reception following the ceremony applies wherever a couple gets married.
Being an executive assistant, I'm big on lists, check-lists, files, processes, and contact information. Thus, my advice leans more toward the organization of the event / project and how it unfolds on the appointed day. It's an event that needs planning at the micro and macro level. No detail is unimportant.
I think BUDGET is the foundation component of how the project gets organized and the level of success on the day of the event. All the stake holders need to be open with what they are willing to spend. Note, I didn't say "able". Willing and able are two different sides of the coin.
This is the first one of many (probably) discussions of what I call boundaries in planning. "This is possible, this is risky, this is probable, and if you want this, then you've just taken on the job of figuring out how to make it happen within the boundaries of the project. If you want to enlarge the scope of the project and fund the additional costs, you're welcome to do so, but this is where we are and this is where we're willing to go." The goal is to set expectations early in the planning process.
I went to family wedding that occurred a few years ago. I knew from the beginning that the "day of" would be chaotic as the bride is an only child to whom her parents didn't like to say "no" or "wait".
When I asked the Mother of the Bride if she was engaging a wedding planner to help administer and co-ordinate events the day of the wedding, as well as to help with the planning of same, her response was, "No. I'm not spending that kind of money. We can handle it."
Well, I knew how well that would work so I suggested she give me a binder with all the contracts / contacts / and other notes for the day so that I could be the one person not in the wedding party who could answer questions and be the "go to person". "Nope. We can handle it."
It was a moderately-sized wedding (125 people) and my 33-yr. old and 28-yr. old sons were ushers. At the rehearsal, no on bothered to instruct them on who was to be seated where before the ceremony and how the congregation was to be led out of the sanctuary. They looked at me and I became a sideline coach.
The wedding guests collected in the narthex...but no wedding party to be seen. I went to a different part of the church. There was the wedding party having a great time fawing all over themselves as the photographer tried to get the "wedding pictures". "How long is this going to take? You have guests waiting in the narthex." " It's going to be awhile."
I waited a few minutes, visiting with the guests. Ultimately, I just told them they may as well leave, finding something to do until the reception 2 hours hence. They all left after awhile. (And yes, they did go to the reception / buffet)
Do NOT get me going on the condition of the room where the bride and her attendants dressed for the wedding. A part of me wanted to gather up everything and toss it into the street.
When the wedding party finally decided it was time to leave the church, they gathered up their stuff, tromped down the hall to waitng limo and made no bones about how rude it was for all the guests to leave and that no one was there to "see them off". (You expected them to cool their heels while you primped and preened?!)
What I'm leading up to here is that no matter how small or how large the wedding, all of those people who come to the wedding are the guests of the bride, groom, and the couple's parents. You invited these folks. Act as if you care about them and take the time to greet and thank them in a receiving line immediately following the ceremony.
Hint: saying "hi" to folks as the DJ blasts music at the reception doesn't qualify as a greeting and "thanks for coming/ it wouldn't have been the same without you".
It may be "your" wedding, but those people you invited need to be treated as something other than an ATM or gift machine or part of the group picture so that you can be at the center of it.
This is a great story from my nephew's wedding last year.
We made the trip from CA to St. Louis...my husband, our sons, one son's girlfriend, and myself. We had a great time. As we were waiting to exit the sanctuary while the bride and groom greeted their guests in the receiving line on the steps, my sons began chatting with the elderly couple sitting in the pew in front of them. The couple had been neighbors of my SIL when she was growing up and had known my nephew since he was born. The couple had been at my brother and SIL's wedding in the late 70's.
"We were there too," my older son told them.
"Really?"
"Yes. He was the ring bearer (that was his then-5-yr.old brother) and I was an usher (he was 9 years old at the time of his aunt and uncle's wedding). The "boys" are now 35 and 40.
"No! We remember both of you! You were so cute. You've both gotten so tall! (Both are over 6')
This would not have happened if there had not been a receiving line...and you wouldn't believe the smiles, laughter, hugs, and absolutely wonderful time everyone had meeting and greeting in that receiving line.
As I approached my "new" niece, I called out to her, calling her her "Mrs. ____! She was caught just a bit off-guard and then threw her arms around me, giving me a huge hug. "That's the first time anyone has called me that, Aunt Madolyn.! I LOVE it!"
So, enjoy the day, take time to consider the comfort and consideration of the guests, and remember... this may be a special day, but it's all those upcoming days, weeks, months, and years that will be your marriage. Isn't that whay all this is happening "today"?