Originally Posted by Cathe

You have excellent advice. I will just discuss my own experience, and I am pretty radical, so you may or may not find it useful... my feelings won't be hurt. :wink:

My middle son was a flake in elementary school. Most was just his personality, but part of this was due to allergies. He literally could not stop moving and focus. If he was at a desk, he would be jiggling his legs. The allergist and the pharmacist were very helpful. They explained to me that his body, under a "histamine" kind of allery attack, reacted by producing adrenaline. Add some itching and some stuffiness, and the poor kid was out of control. Since he was allergic to mold and dust, among other things, the school environment was making it worse.

In addition, the school breakfasts and lunches (which he loved - he used to suck up to the lunch ladies so they would give him larger servings) were loaded with carbohydrates and chemicals.

He loved school. It was fun. He had friends there. Every day, while his brothers toted big bags of books, he happily dribbled his basketball all the way to the school. Unfortunately, he was failing his classes. When the teachers wanted to put him in remedial math classes in 6th grade, I called a halt to it.

I took him out of the school system and homeschooled him. I was able to give him (and his brothers) my full and undivided attention for the rest of his academic career. (Don't worry - he still had plenty of friends and had a cheerful, happy life! :lol: )

Every morning began with serious exercise. We started with a one-mile run. Then there were some other exercises and outdoor chores. I do not think God created young male people to sit still for extended periods of time. After that came a high-protein low-carb breakfast. When that was done and cleaned up, he did school until lunchtime, then there was an outdoor break, and then he finished his schoolwork. School was done in a strictly structured setting. He was allowed to make noises while he worked on his math, but he had to keep working. we did it together, and I increased the academic standards to a much higher level that he was used to.

No TV, and this was back before videogames and computer games. I believe this is a major contributor to "hyper" behavioral issues. When he was done with school, he did creative or energetic stuff. The kind of stuff boys used to do before they expected "entertainment" to be their primary occupation. He became a voracious reader, and I made sure he had good books.

As he grew older, we tailored his work and play to his skills and goals. He took online college courses during his senior year of high school. He spent four years doing competitive forensics and policy debate, joined the Civil Air Patrol, did volunteer work, played baseball, worked with children's programs at our church, etc etc.

His SAT/ACT scores were very good. He was accepted to every college to which he applied, but he sensibly chose a community college to get his criminal justice/law enforcement degree. Why spend $30,000 on an education when he could get the job with the same degree for under $3000? He also got EMT certified. Energetic, service jobs are great for this kind of personality. Then he went to the police academy. When he got out, he joined the Marines. He is waiting for his training now. His wife is expecting their first baby in October.

SO that was a long story! :lol: I guess my points were:

1. refocus the entire life.
2. serious exercise first thing in the morning
3. High protein breakfast
4. no chemicals - food colors, etc.
5. very structured learning environment with in-your-face attention and high standards. Let them see that they are not at all "dumb".
6. More exercise.
7. No screens. Let them find more wholesome ways to occupy themselves.
8. Useful and productive community service and social involvement. Let them feel that they have something to contribute.
9. Early on, help them establish goals for the future and tailor their activities to that.


Did I mention that he got virtually all A's in college? Including math.

Perhaps you can find one or two points that will help you, even if you are not willing to make that kind of radical change. I believe that just as ADD and ADHD are diagnosed by outward behaviors, it is also largely personality and natural behaviors (especially in male people.) It can be directed into the right paths, and those kind of traits can lead them into a very strong adulthood. But it's a lot of work.

Cathe, Amen and job well done