Our mothers were all complex people in many ways. I'm glad that you faced your Mom's memory and were able to finish that quilt. It is now a beautiful and useful object.
In a way, I feel sorry for the quilters who don't see beyond 'the rules' and the striving for perfection. I quilt because I like it, both the process and the finished product. I refuse to do anything because someone tells me I must. Had enough of that in my working life!