I would include your son in the conversation as well. My husband is in poor health and we've talked and we've planned and we've brought our daughter into the plans. So we all know what each of us wants - will do. Its much better to have talked it through when you can think and plan than make decisions in crisis. DD made wonderful suggestions and is alternate on both Health POAs and knows our wishes. Because we've been calm she's been calm and its comforting to know where we're going. Like the secret family word if we needed help or the fire escape plan and meeting location in an emergency. Preparations and plans mitigate crisis.