I have been active on this board about nine months. I have scooted around, put my stamp here and there, confessed to being a conumdrum kid, multiple medical disorders, and a quirky quilter, lol.
First...about the multiple medical disorders...they were ALL inherited.
Do I take medications, yes. Do I have some side effects, yes.
Do I have diagnosed ADHD, YES!!!
There, I said it, and if you want to turn back now, feel free...bc I want to hear from anybody that wants to share their own experience with it, whether they have it, they suspect they have it, just curious, or know someone that does have it.
There are many good books out there, and one of the very best is
"Driven To Distraction", by Edward Hallowell and John oops, sorry John, can't recall right this moment. This is enough to type in, if you want to read a funny, informative book, about real life cases, and learn what ADHD really is.
There are 11 different kinds, (going by this book, here), and I have the mixed type with ocd behaviors.
As a child, I was the wallflower, blending into whatever insignificant, boring, sure-to-bepassed-over-without-so-much-as-a-glance,...thing, I could manage to hide behind.
Camoflage was my sanctuary. Don't even look at me! I would turn red down to my toes, :oops: and upon appearing as if I would burst into tears,(which was highly likely)...many kind souls, would turn away and leave me be.
I struggled all thru my childhood, had extreme low self-esteem, made very good grades, and was invited to be part of the BETA club in high school, and was the first to turn them down! oh, teachers came out of the woodwork! you need to come out of your shell...develop your personality...yada, yada, yada,...even some of the students tried to encourage me...nope, couldn't hog tie me and drag me in there,....so, between the anxiety of letting ppl down, the fear, that their begging/pleading wouldn't stop, and school becoming harder, home being chaos, the easiest thing to do, was quit trying so hard.
Now, your probably wondering how I made such good grades in the first place, and did so well, albeit I was a social washout...bc, I had the kind of a.d.d. (a nick...it has been decided that ADHD fits all, even if they are a couch potato type)...I had such extreme anxiety about getting into trouble, or being embarrassed that I developed many o.c.d. behaviors, very early in life, to cope, and push myself with. I hyperfocused.
Hyperfocusing has saved my sanity. We all do it sometimes. Add-ers, cannot do it on demand, but they can do it, especially when they are highly interested in something...hence, the kids that can play video games for hours, but cannot get their room clean.
It is not bc, they choose, to pay attention to the games, and choose to ignore their mothers pleas/warnings/threats...their is much anxiety that causes rapid thoughts etc. and the more they get negative feedback, the worse the noise/anxiety/jumbled goobledy gosh, in their heads. They have no control over this mess.
At 27 years old, I developed my first ulcer, and went to counseling for help. No one knew a thimble full about add back then, so it wasn't even mentioned.
As my file grew, it wouldn't be mentioned, in the same sentence with my name, until I began asking at age 43! I knew my youngest daughter had it. I told all of her teachers, who could not see it. There was no help, of any kind, that I knew anything about, so she never took anything.
She had a hard time. We had a bit of a hard time, although, when I was finally diagnosed and started reading up, I had done many, many things, spot on :wink: :D :!:
One of my descriptions of it, to my doctor, was it's like I get a traffic jam in my head,...or, sometimes it's like standing in a movie theater with 5-6 movies playing, and your standing in the hallway, and all the doors are open, and you are hearing/seeing all of them at once!
I sent for a video tape about adhd...and in the first ten seconds of the film...guess what...they opened with a big, fat, blurry, traffic jam on a super speedway...they had photographed the inside of my head!!!
I didn't get paid for that, LOL!!!
Before meds, I had a recurrng nightmare, for years and years, of being behind the wheel of a car with no brakes....(anxiety/out of control/no control...waiting for the other shoe to drop!)
So, having said all of this, and feeling quite refreshed, bc I am who I am...love me, or don't, I can't change, and don't want to.
Let me say, before I close, I am not advocating that all ppl with add. need meds. On the contrary. I think they should only be taken by those that can't cope otherwise, and should only be prescribed by professionals educated in ADHD.
It is very important they have this background, as it looks a lot like other things. Some ppl do outgrow it, and some that have it as adults, learn to cope with it. I had to have medicine, and it is not a cure all, but borrowing what someone said on a previous post...compare life WITH meds and side effects, to life WITH OUT meds, and the consequences/side effects of that!
I will take the former and be gosh darn glad of it.
It has changed my whole life for the better, and made me able to be who I always was.
I was trapped inside, a body, and couldn't get out, dissociating, and my social world was full of 'others' in my head. Unless you have some kind of very severe moral or mental issue going on, this is caused by the anxiety.
I was completely introverted and my lonely, prison of a world, was between my ears.
Medication, for me, let me open the door and walk into the sunshine, and say - Hi, there all you lucky people, here I am!!! :D