Old 06-14-2009, 06:55 AM
  #45  
Esqmommy
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Originally Posted by quiltncrazy
Originally Posted by PrettyKitty
My boyfriend's son has it, he is 9 yrs old. It is a difficult situation as the son lives with his Mom, who is happy to have him on meds all the time, and when he is he is rather spaced out and not himself, but calm.

When my boyfriend has him on alternate weekends, he does not give him the meds and keeps him under control with good food, exercise and organisation and schedules. He is highly energetic but my bf feels happier because he can teach him how to control himself without being zonked out by the drugs, and he is 'himself' when not on them.

I have no opinion, from what I have learnt I hear it is a matter of striking a balance between what you eat and what meds you take, as well as vital support from the child's school. Read up on all you can and fight for the support you both need, you can do it! Don't despair, I'm sure there is plenty of help out there :wink:
Having quite a bit of experience with this in my family etc. I can tell you, that it is not a good idea, for one parent to give the medicine and the other one, to withhold it.
I can also tell you, that while the boyfriend watches his son's diet, and that definitely helps, what he is seeing, is also, bc the drug is still in this boy's system. So the boyfriend's belief that he is doing it all, by controlling his son's diet, is just a misconception, and something he wants to believe. I assure you, he is mistaken.
I don't believe that parents should take their kids to the family dr. for these things...you need a professional in that field. Misdiagnoses are big trouble.
I also believe, that the children that really need medicine for these things, should have it.
If this boy is 'zonked' out, by what he is taking...he is
1-either misdiagnosed, or
2- on the wrong medicine, or
3-on the wrong dose.
People with add/adhd do not become zonked out on the appropriate medicine/dosage. It slows the racing thoughts and anxiety, so the person can concentrate.
Support is everything for kids, regardless of whether they have these chemical imbalances or not. I applaud the dad for wanting to do the right thing, but not the way he is doing it. He should got talk to a professional.
Withholding this kind of help, is very detrimental to a child's self esteem and self image. It sounds like the typical carry over from divorce and the nine year old is getting the fallout. I'm glad that you are being openminded about it. Eventually, this kid is going to turn to somebody.
Mhy two cents...as a divorce attorney, I see these scenarios somewhat regularly. I can honestly tell you that when two parents who live in separate homes do not agree on a medication plan (or anything else), the only one hurt is the CHILD. The messages of "we do one thing at my house, and something else at the other parent's house" is incredibly destructive. I hope your boyfriend can sit down with his son's mother and the physician or mental health expert and work TOGETHER for the sake of this 9 year old boy. This is not about "who's right" - it's about the long term success for their son.
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