Esqumommy wrote:
Mhy two cents...as a divorce attorney, I see these scenarios somewhat regularly. I can honestly tell you that when two parents who live in separate homes do not agree on a medication plan (or anything else), the only one hurt is the CHILD. The messages of "we do one thing at my house, and something else at the other parent's house" is incredibly destructive. I hope your boyfriend can sit down with his son's mother and the physician or mental health expert and work TOGETHER for the sake of this 9 year old boy. This is not about "who's right" - it's about the long term success for their son.
This is the #1 thing that stirred me up so much, I had to start another post on the subject, to deal with my own issues. When I was first diagnosed, AS AN ADULT! my own family was withdrawn from me, and I felt punished!
After being misdiagnosed for 18 years!! I finally have an excellent doctor, that validated my own suspicions of what I really had, and I was overjoyed...I was the only one.
Over time, I have learned, that my family, feared, that they had it too.
Guess what? They do. All of them including hubby. Hearing the symptoms, etc. took them from being on the outside of 'my stuff', to smack in the middle. Most are still med free and doing ok.
Youngest daughter decided after second child to try a mild dose of something, and hubby's doctor gave him an anti-anxiety med, bc he has breathing problems and panic attacks. I didn't tell him, it would at least take the edge off his other problems.
He has a different kind of adhd than me, and his is not as bad.
I wanted to just about cry, when I read this reply, bc, this is what I was trying to say.
Just bc the parents don't want to be married anymore, they cannot stop being his parents, and it is wrong to not work to find a solution that is right for him.
Prettykitty, please don't feel bad about sharing this. I'm not looking down on your mate. He probably doesn't realize, yet, the consequences of all this, but you can help. I think it is wonderful that you care so much, and did share. I hope a workable solution can be found. Who knows, maybe the boy, really doesn't need any meds, and that can be proven to his doctor, by another doctor...whatever is best for him. hugs to you, your not just a bystander.