Quiltingboard Forums - View Single Post - I just don't understand my sister

06-17-2009, 01:22 PM

#23

Rhonda

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Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: Salem Iowa

Posts: 15,666

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiltncrazy

Rhonda, I am going to say something here, and I hope it's not hijacking, but I'm pretty sure, when Pam gets back to this, she won't mind.
I recently wrote a thread, and ppl thought I was brave to write something so personal and expose it to the world. Although I was touched deeply by all the replies, for me, and I'm not saying that was an easy thing to do...once upon a time, - no way! would I have put myself out there like that...but it was the subject that was so important, I felt I had to stand up, and say some things.
I think what you have said here, is bigger and braver than what I did.
Like somebody told me, you didn't have to tell anybody, but knowing you, like I do, you did it to help. You wanted ppl to see the other side of the coin, from a perspective, that they probably would not have gotten.
I agree, that there are ppl that are "stuck", in their ways, and can't see their way out, and frankly, at the time, not interested in stopping what they are doing, bc it is fun. We all get a taste of it, when we go overboard on fabrics, but, most of us, get the brakes on, before the lights get put out.
wow, that was a generous thing for you to do. I know you felt inspired to do it. You have turned your life around, (+), with help (+)...and your determined not to go back down that road.
What many don't know, is that a lot of times, the ppl doing the "excessives", are suffering from ocd behaviors, add, manic depression, anxiety....a lot of different things can cause these behaviors. I am not saying that if they are, that makes it right. not at all, but they have to want help, and go and get it. IMHO, they have to do an inside inventory too. If you fix the body and the mind, but not the soul...there's still a problem. It aint like the song, by meatloaf...2 out of 3, in this case, is bad. :roll:
thank you for sharing what could not have been an easy story to put out there, Rhonda. big hug for you. :D

Thank you QC you are so appreciated!! No it is not easy to talk about my past and it is not something i allow myself to dwell on a lot because I have a lot of guilt for what I put my family through but we are all stronger for it now and my kids know the right values to put first. My one son started doing some things that I had done and he realized it and took steps to stop it. He had the bank take over their budget and pay bills for him. He is now in control and running his own business!

Any addiction is hard- this is also an addiction in my opinion because it is a behavior or set of mind that takes over your decision making process.
You want what you want and do what it takes to get what you want even when it hurts someone else. I just wanted to show that the person in this case the sister can some day come to the place where they realize what they are doing is harmful. In the meantime all the loved ones can do is be emotionally supporting but not necessarily handing out money. That may not be the right thing to do as giving someone a ciggarette is not the right way to stop the smoker's craving.

Live and Learn and thank the Lord with my mom's help I have conquered my bad behaviors. My mom pays my bills and i give her the money each month that way i can't be tempted to use it for other things. I have done this for 11 years now so it has helped me to learn a new way of thinking called a budget!! Which I can do now with my hands tied behind my back!! "Some trick huh?

There are ways to find help to help her but she has to want it first. It isn't easy to change!!!

Yes I always go away thinking why did I say that?!! Why did I say something so stupid!! But it is good to hear that I didn't say anything that is offensive to anyone. I would never do that on purpose!

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