Originally Posted by littlehud
My mother was always a saver and had a nice nest egg set aside for my dad and her. She was diagnosed with cancer and passed away in less than a year. My dad has spent most of the savings on things that help make him happy. He once commented he was spending our inheritance. Sis and I set him straight. He is spending the money he has spent his whole life earning. It's his and we want him to enjoy it. My brother ( who visits once every three months if dad is lucky and I might add live a little over an hour away ) has urged my sis and I to stop dad from spending all the money. I think he was hoping for an inheritance. My sis and I just enjoy our time with dad and are happy to see him happy. Families can be challenging.
littlehud, that is why I said, hubby and I don't count our chickens...they are not ours to count, until the dirt has been laid over, and the flowers planted. I don't covet, what belongs to others,...I joke about it, but like you and your sister, I want to see his dad, and my mom, enjoy their lives.
Mom, has little to leave, and most will be to my brother that lives with her. I think that is the way it should be. He takes care of her. He does all the driving, they do everything together.
He was in love and got burned, and decided marriage was overrated. She took his money, and broke his heart, and he is such a wonderful person. He deserves to get the land and the house.
Hubby's dad lived thru the depression, and still uses a paper towel, five times, before tossing, keeps his house about 85-90 degrees...hubby can't breathe in it, so he will turn it down, if we say something.
He sits in the dark, rather than turn a light on...and yes, it does depress him, but you can't tell him that.
He was stingy with his family when he had them with him, so now, he doesn't feel worthy. I always say, what goes around, comes around, although, I am a very forgiving person, and wish he would forgive himself. He goes to church, but he still battles with the consequences of the life he lived. That happens often. Just bc we get forgiven, doesn't mean we escape scars. It means we get some mercy, in spite of what we have done. This is a deep thread, but stuff we all have to think about, sooner or later. It's good to explore these issues, before it's time to be smacked in the face with them. hugs to all. ttfn.