Billy - the Lord never gives us more than what we can handle and even though we don't understand at the time the why and wherefor of what's happening to us, you can trust in the wisdom of the Lord that he will walk you through this. You have so many friends who care about you and we are praying for you as you enter into this difficult phase of your life. This sure isn't a fun thing but you will come through it with flying colors with the help of your doctors and the Lord. God bless you ....... know that we are all praying hard for your full recovery. Don't give up - you need to keep fighting!!!