You are a quilter! FMQ is tough. I've read articles that say how "liberating" it is, well it may well be; but I'm going to be doing a lot more practice projects before I try a full size quilt. My seam ripper is never, I mean never, out of sight. Just pick a time when you are calm and undo it, all will be well. Don't beat yourself up, this is how we learn.