Maride, everyone's stitches are like that when they first start. I use my pointer on my left hand to feel the needle under neath. That helps you get the rocking motion going.
Don't give up, the only to learnto hand quilt is practice, practice practice! I use a size #12 needle, but had to work up to that over the years. I started with a 8. Getting your stitches even is more important than getting them small.
Also relax. That is so important!