Originally Posted by Mplsgirl
Originally Posted by Rhonda
Originally Posted by k3n
Thanks Rhonda - I'm sure you're right, I'll be happy when I next go round there if it's stuck in his book! You'd think after 44 years I would have learned not to be so sensitive to it! Hans saw I was a bit quiet and said 'it's four hours work, you know, Colin' (I don't think it DID take me that long :lol: !) But he still didn't say anything - just left it lying on the table where he'd dropped it. He barely glanced at the back where I'd hand embroidered 'Happy Father's Day' and my name and the date. Yeah, I'm upset - I'm an idiot - must be hormonal! :D
No you're not an idiot! I am 53 and still find myself trying to get my mother's approval. I showed her a primitive cabinet I just bought and how I had arranged it unconsciously waiting for approval and all she said was oh so you decided to put it there instead of in the bathroom huh? When I go in her house I'm expected to "gush" over every arrangement she has moved but getting a good comment from her is just not something to be expected! Yes it does hurt. We have talked about it at length and we are just never on the same wave length! She is an A personality (everything has to be perfectly arranged at all times!)and I am a slob(I'm a quilter after all! housework doesn't exist!) Oh well! I can deal with it most of the time but it still zings at times! Seems like she is always critical of me.
Cheer up he will use it! You'll see! If it is laying handy he will grab it when he needs something to mark his page! I'm sure he loves you!
My dad has been gone since Dec 1990( he was only 60) and he and I were two sides of a coin. I miss him each and every day. So glad you still have your dad! I know it would be nice to hear some approval but I'm sure he shows it in other ways!
I lost my parents when I was 20 - both with 4 months. I am 64 now and think of them often. Be glad you have parents to give gifts to, and even if they don't show it they are appreciative.
No actually my mom is not appreciative, We have ironed out some of our differances but some just have to be lived with. We have had many talks(some fights) and we understand each other better now(in my 50's!)
Mom only sees that she has to "help" me by telling me how to do it better. She does not see the effort put into it and is bewildered when I talk about my feelings. Emotion is not practical so she can not relate. It is unimportant to her so it doesn't exist.
She thinks she is instructing me on improving the quality of what ever I am doing whether it is housework or sewing. She picks out all the faults so I can "correct" them. If she likes something she just doesn't say anything because it doesn't need fixed! She just doesn't understand that she hurts my feelings. It isn't intentional and I know that now.
I do love her and admire her for a lot of things. We have a better relationship than we used to and I wish I could break the need for approval because it will never happen. She doesn't think that way.
I lost my dad in 90 and am not ready to lose her yet either!! We help each other a lot! We live beside each other.
Unfortunately my husband is just like her and I sometimes feel like a bone between two dogs!!! She will ask me if I sent that letter yet and I get back out to my house and my husband will ask me if I sent that letter out yet! It is like stereo!!! They are so much alike!!
All my life the only way my mom can express love is to buy you something. No hugs ever! and no verbal expressions of any kind. It is not her way. But she would give me her last nickle or do anything I ask without any questions so I do know I am loved but it would be nice to hear it or have a hug once in awhile. My dad was a hugger and my grandparents were also. If I hug her (which i have) it makes her very uncomfortable.