This may have been around before, but it is still a good chuckle. Enjoy!!
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for PUFF, my Alaskan Malamute Dog.
I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
Since I'm retired and don't have a lot to do, on impulse I told her that No, I
didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I
probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in intensive care, because the dog
food poisoned me.
I told her No.... I had stepped off a curb to Sniff a poodle's Butt and a Car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world
to think of crazy things to say.