my cats have always chosen me. except for the most recent addition, tiger. my dh chose him as a surprise for me. he is sweet and funny and it took us awhile to get acquainted. he now loves me, but not at the beginning. every other cat has chosen me and it was love at first sight. some cats, like my simon, take years to become a sit by you cat. simon liked to be in the same room but very little contact. he's now 17 and it took him 15 yrs to decide he wanted to sleep in my right arm pit. he'll come over and tap my arm until i move it so he can snuggle up. some cats are long distance lovers and others are not. if you want a very talkative cat, get a black or siamese. if you want an opinionated lady, get a tortie or calico. if you want instant sugar, get an orange tabby. tuxedo cats tend to be very playful and funny for longer than many other cats, and they are very loving--with everyone! there are lots of very loving cats out there. the best idea is to sit as close to the floor as you can, and see which cat comes up to you and makes overtures. if they rub the side of their face on you, they are marking you as theirs. i saw the most wonderful large gray solid color ancient (13) female and i wanted to bring her home. but dh was afraid she would die, as our 20yr old, mel, had and that i would cry. silly man! of course, i would cry. every cat deserves someone who cares enough to cry at their passing! anyway, these are my observations of various color cats and their behavior. no guarantees, since there are exceptions to every rule. but it is a guide for you.