MY TRIP TO COSTCO
>
> Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina cat chow for
> my loyal pet, Siam, the Wonder Cat and was in the checkout line when a woman
> behind me asked if I had a cat.
>
> What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little
> to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a cat, I was starting
> the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up
> in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
> an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs
> in both arms.
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
> works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
> or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it
> works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
> practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the cat food
> poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's
> butt and a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
> laughing so hard.
>
> Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
>
> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
> world to think of crazy things to say.
>
> =