My Mother always said, "The woman sets the tone in a relationship."
She meant that if you are willing to put up with a lot of BS, that's what you'll get. If you are dishing out a lot of BS, you'll get it back.
If you respect yourself, you'll know when to draw the line on someone elses behavior towards you. And if you respect your husband, he'll respect you.
My first husband - well - lets just say I learned what I didn't want in a partner. My second, current and last husband is all I could ever ask for in a life partner. My Mom was right. I set the tone. When we dated, the first time he cursed around me (not at me), I told him that I didn't appreciate that kind of language and if he wanted to use it around me, I wouldn't be around. He never cursed around me again. If he had cursed AT me, the relationship would have ended immediately - that's abuse. He tried yelling at me one time to get his way. I told him that yelling at me the way he was yelling was disrespectful of me and my opinions, and if he wanted to yell we were through. That ended the yelling.
It is a two way street, though. There have been times when he let me know that I was out of line...I listened.
We've known each other for 33 years, married for 28. Life is good.