Originally Posted by BlueChicken
Originally Posted by k3n
Originally Posted by BlueChicken
Can I ask another question.....
it seems there have been some complaints lately. I'm not sure what's been happening, but if we inadvertently break a rule, or someone makes a complaint about something we've said, do we get told? Not who complained, obviously, but that there is a complaint and what it was? I just hate to think I'm stumbling around breaking rules at every step without realising! :-)
Yes I'd been wondering about that too... I guess there's been a lot of PMing to and fro between groups of ppl discussing this and it has made me feel a bit uncomfortable, I must admit; I know we can't have it ALL in the open ie who complained about whom, but I think an open and honest general discussion, no obligation for anyone to join in if they don't want to and obviously NO naming or criticising others, would be a good thing. It's difficult for me to know just WHAT others find offensive- some things are obvious, of course, oscenities, religion, politics, the usual suspects, BUT as for the rest, it's such a subjective thing, it's hard to second guess your audience. I guess the diary page will address this! Sorry - thinking aloud! :mrgreen:
Me too! I just figured I'm a bit sensitive right now and must be having a wee paranoid moment. Glad I'm not alone! ;-)
I'm a member of another forum based here in NZ, and in complete honesty, everyone on here is a saint compared to that unruly mob!
I can't speak for either Admin or Shadow Dancer on this because we've never compaired numbers, but I can tell you that I get surprisingly few complaints considering the number of active members we have. Most of the time, if Member A complains to me about Member B, it isn't really that either has broken a rule or done something wrong. It's because they each see things differently and one has irritated the other.
We started out with very few rules. We members hissed and howled at the very thought of rules. (guess who was the BIGGEST troublemaker around here. :roll: ) we more or less "wrote" our own rules and "taught" each other what was and wasn't acceptable behavior. We preferred to work things out ourselves and only dragged Admin into it if there was a hardhead or two who wouldn't cooperate with the group.
That worked well when there were only a few of us posting and participating regularly. But as we've grown, we've discovered by hit, miss and the hard way that some things need to be
officially discouraged or banned in order to keep this a comfortable, friendly and informative place for everybody. Soooooo every once in a while poor Admin has to add to or tweak the rules a bit more. (We've been spoiled rotten by all the freedom so you can be sure a new rule is only rolled out after careful consideration.)
99.99999% of the time, if a member actually "messes up", it's by accident.
If your post disappears and you didn't get a pm about it, then we're sending a gentle hint. It was a boo-boo, but not one big enough to earn you so much as a written "tsk tsk". (Remember, we Adminize and moderate in our spare time so - as Admin pointed out - there isn't always enough time to send notification.) We assume you'll get the hint and we can all quietly and calmly go about business as usual.
if the mistake is a bit more serious, we try to let that member know where they went wrong and how it can be straightened out. The contact is for the purpose of guidance and education. I almost never feel i have no choice but to really chew him/her out about it.
when members grumble among themselves by pm, but don't discuss it with Admin or a moderator, it's no better than back fence gossip. it has no genuine value or influence on how things are done or run.
Trust me ... if
Admin or a moderator hasn't said something directly to you, then you aren't in trouble. ;-)
P.S. I'm living proof that you can make mistakes here AND get in trouble AND be forgiven AND live to tell about it. :lol: