Originally Posted by svenskaflicka1

"why, he's the south end of a horse walking north..."

"jesus loves you. and i'm trying..."

"if your mama had thought twice, i wouldn't be looking at this problem."

actual conversation (with one of my smart-mouthed kids, when she was about 10):

" watch your step, or you'll end up like your brother."

"i don't have a brother."

"that's what you think. go look under the apple tree out back..."

(her eyes got huge, and she shut up, immediately. the next day, i saw her walking around the apple tree out in the 'back 40", looking at the ground...)