Thanks to all of you that understood. My sister is suffering still but I think I have gotten past my mother's latest "gotcha". She has excused herself from any blame and it has always worked for her. I am sad we could never have the relationship I would have wanted but she is not able to provide the care of other and I have to just understand that. I was very fortunate to have a grandmother that was loving, stern, expected the best from me and was always there. She guided me through my childhood and young adulthood..even though she is gone now I still listen to her advice. She showed me how to create a loving home. She was/is my mentor and how lucky I am to have had her. She knew my pain and she told me to know God would not make my burdens heavier than I could carry. God is good! I have nothing to complain about. I need to remember to count my blessings of which I have many. Please excuse my lapse and again I thank you for caring.