HRT isn't the evil some people make it out to be. If you are really young when you hit menopause HRT may be better for you because without the estrogen women start having issues with bone density. If your symptoms are really bad, then this might be your answer. Only you and your Dr. can decide.
I hope you find an OTC that helps with symptoms but I stick by my HRT bioidentical estrogen. Besides dealing with the hot flashes, it helps with the osteopenea.