I'm ROFLMAO ! oh my stars, I think we are all related in some way.
When my grandmothed died I went to funeral home and saw my mother for the first time in about 20 years.....her first words were something like : "so miss rich bitch are those your bastards?"....meaning my children of course......my 6'4" 250 lb uncle picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and took her out the back door of the funeral home until I left......
As far as funeral stories I have a friend that has the best......she said her father in law died and she and her husband took MIL to funeral home for the first viewing....the MIL replied "oh, he looks so stiff!"......
Same family, my friend's father died...he was retired Navy man and someone had sent a floral wreath to funeral home shaped like an anchor..the way it was positioned looked like a giant finger pointing to casket !
Another friend of mine's mother died; went to funeral and a nephew came in dressed as an Elvis impersonator.....it certainly put the "fun" back in funeral ! This same friend was going to a funeral in a small town in South Ga that she wasn't familiar with.....kept getting lost and one 3 different occasions stopped at same convenience store to ask directions....finally she thought she had it.....ended up having to merge on a 1 way street; pushed her way into traffic and lo and below she pushed her way into the funeral procession.....folks were honking their horns and waving their fists........they wouldn't look her in the eye when she got to country church and got out of the car !
I've had counseling over the years and at my counselor's office I saw a cartoon of an empty auditorium and the banner said somthing like "meeting of all those from normal families"
Have another friend whose father died in AL, was creamated and wanted to be buried in North Dakota or somewhere far away; friend put urn in back of his truck and was driving to N. D., someone rear ended my friends truck, urn came open and ashes were scattered all over the bed of the truck ! He said they just sort of used their hands and scrapped as much as they could and put back in urn......