Here in So. Jersey, most people choose to send most of the baskets of flowers to area nursing homes (as well as to churches if it'll be close to a Sunday service)...so at least the flowers are given the chance to be enjoyed be others...the spray of flowers across the top and/or the inside from the immediate family are left to blanket the top of the grave...but I also love the idea of a small lap quilt to go on your loved one...Naomi