As others have stated, you handled this with grace and patience.I don't think I would have done so well. All this person did was show how rude and ignorant she is. How dare she come into your home and insult you like that. But it sounds like you are a confident "Lady" and will survive this outrage.
I hope your friend comes back. As you said we can't help to whom we are related.Thank goodness we can pick our friends and you have lots here. Happy Quilting.