nancia,
Going on disability was the hardest hurdle emotionally I have ever faced. I am glad that I did it, my medical bills are now approaching 1/4 of a million dollars, and that is with medicare covering a lot.
The monthly payment is small for me, nowhere near enough to live on. ($800) The hardest wait was the 12 months or so you can make no income while you wait on disability. After you are approved, you are still not allowed to purchase SS medicare for a period of time, then you still cannot purchase the supplemental policy for two years. Crazy.
I deal with it by saying this is money I paid in case of devastating illness, which is exactly what happened.