I'm laughing out loud reading this...
I have a 150 lb. chocolate lab... who doesn't sleep with me... but takes over and rules every other aspect of my life.
As for sleeping... at 55 with sleep apnea (yes, I wear a mask)... I know I sleep... but never soundly throughout the night... something wakes me... bathroom, readjusting my mask, turning my pillow, bathroom, thirsty, hot, more readjustment, cold, my arms hurt, turn my pillow again, hot, bathroom, cold... time to wake up!!! WTF!!!