When I was a teenager, I rode horses in competition, hunter/jumper. When I grew up, I competed in conformation and obedience with my dogs.
I learned a lot from competing. One thing I learned is that there is no way for a competitor to complain about the judging without making themselves look worse than the judge.
Another thing I learned is that it is not my personality or my personal worth being judged. The judge's opinion is based on one brief look at a tiny slice of my life, so how can their opinion possibly represent any sort of general judgment on me? The judge's opinion represents one person's opinion on what I presented, no more, no less.
If I start to feel defensive, that's my clue that in some way I am mentally going off track and I need to figure out what it is and fix it. It might be my ego (which I have to go in with a chair and bullwhip to fight back sometimes!). It might be my general stress level (I tend to react to stress with denial and piling on more stress because if I'm not stressed, then surely I can take more stress!).
Whatever it is, for the good of all the people who love me and have to live with me, I have to fix it ASAP.