I'm not sure what advice to give, I would be VERY upset with anyone who (accidentally or otherwise) was so thoughtless with ANY gift, I think it's even worse since he knows full well how much time and effort it takes to make a quilt. My first thought was that he knew you would be upset so maybe that's why he didn't say anything... but it's always worse when you find out on your own, eh?
I made a quilt for my brother and his girlfriend this spring when they had their first baby (she's 4 months pregnant again :shock: :roll: ) and some of the stitching came out in the laundry, she was pretty upset about it, but the best thing she could have done was tell me about it, I WILL fix it.