I know you are hurting and sick about the destruction of that quilt. I think Henry, Darren and HMK gave excellent advice. Once something you make is gifted, then it is beyond your control. We can not police our adult children. Nor would I want to do so.
My rule for myself. Once it leaves the house it belongs to whomever and how they chose to use it is up to them. And that includes any abuse. That being said, I chose my fabric, pattern and time spent in the making with that in mind. Someone who does not treat their things well will probably get the lesser quality fabric, the easy pattern, and quick quilting.