I belong to a very small group. Memebership limited to 20 members and by invitation only. When we have an opening, the members submit names of someone wanting to join. All of the members vote yes or no by secret ballot. One "no" vote and the person doesn't get in. The person being voted on isn't aware that they have even been submitted, so there aren't any hard feelings. If they weren't voted in, they never know that. I know it seems rigid but this is a very small town and most of these people have been here all their lives. There is another group in a town close by that has some members that are gossipy and clique-y. The founders of the group I'm in didn't want the same problems in this one. So far, seems to be working, we all get along nicely and don't have the competetive/jealousy thing to distract from the fun of getting together and enjoying ouselves.