I have seen the short spoon tool you are talking about, but I really need to feel the needle when it comes through to the backside. I thought about trying the soft deer skin thimble underneath to see if I could still feel the needle. Just need to build up that callus again.
I am going to try to switch off using middle and pointer just to see if I can get the hang of using the pointer finger too. I know I can forget the thumb that just doesn't work for me, I don't know why, I will just have to keep turning the quilt.