You might try using a wooden hoop instead of the snap frame. I tried a snap frame and also a plastic hoop one time. I hated them! It was hard to get the material how I wanted it. I was frustrated with it just like you. I don't consider myself and expert since I have only been hand quilting for about two years now. But I have learned a lot by trial and error. (Lots of errors.) LOL! Like you I didn't have anyone to teach me. I learned from watching quilting shows and youtube videos. Most people I have talked to had trouble getting the fabric to rock at first. Don't worry so much about that. Just start quilting and it will come automatically with time. Just remember the rocking of the material is really done more by lifting the fabric with the hand underneath the fabric. The more you use the thimble the less awkward it will be. Try different fingers to see which one is more comfortable. Most people don't quilt with their thumb but I do. It's a little different because you quilt away from you instead of towards. Like you I tried doing the quilters knot like they showed on youtube and I couldn't do it either. I don't know if the quilters knot is actually better. I just try to make a small clean knot and it works fine for me. I hope you won't get discouraged. I think the more you do it the easier it will become. It really is a joy to quilt once you get use to it.