Take the high road and help her. Both my DH and I have exs and refuse to allow the children (all married now with children) to be pawns. I would help any friend or other family member with a quilt (if they asked) so would cherish the time spent working with my DD. Once you gift something to someone, it is no longer yours and what they choose to do with it is on their shoulders. Quilts have healing powers...some for the makers and givers, and some for the receivers.