I think you are just being reactionary. It will pass. I AGREE with you in part. We stopped exchanging gifts when my youngest sibling was 18 and out of high school. Only children in the extended family receive any kind of gift. We do more for each other during the rest of the year (I don't work well to deadlines). However, homemade food or sewn gifts are welcome by everybody except one.
I think it's a fine thing to teach your granddaughter sewing skills. But, lets remember she still deserves to get some new things, even packaged in plastic!
As far as the retreats, if you get little value from them, then pick the ones that you particularly enjoy. I never went on retreats due to health problems. I feel a bit of an outsider (and very envious) since nearly every other quilter I know goes to them. But, that's the way it is.