Is this a new machine? I have to wonder if there is something wrong with it. It shouldn't make *that* much difference whether you use regular flour or bread flour, regular dry yeast or machine dry yeast. The most important thing I have found is the order in which ingredients are added. For my machine, liquids go in first, flour on top, and then I made two little "wells" in the flour for the dry yeast. If you are following directions for order of ingredients and your bread is not rising, seems to me as if the machine is not heating properly. Too little heat and the yeast will not rise fast enough before baking starts, resulting in a small dense loaf. Too much heat kills the yeast and the bread doesn't rise because the yeast is dead. Additional gluten helps, but shouldn't be necessary to get a decent loaf.
Maybe you could be a little more specific about "horrible mess"? Is the loaf too small, too large, unbaked in the center, overbaked?
p.s. I think it's best to perfect a loaf of white bread before attempting whole wheat bread. Whole grains do typically require extra gluten.