I think you have received some sound advice. Having lost my grandmother, two aunts and my mother to Alzheimer's I understand the desire to hang on to what is rapidly slipping away. Look for opportune moments to gently question his reason for the frame gift and hand quilting request. Ask brief questions and listen for what he is not saying as well as what he says. Just don't sit him down for a big discussion on the topic. Just keep pondering the possibilities of how each method will look and ask his thoughts and listen, listen listen. You will make the right choice for both of you if you reach it together.