Two people, two lives, share what you can, accept what is private, find something you can do together - a THIRD THING. It is the third things - the things you both decide to do because you want to be together, which will entwine your lives.
If as you said in a recent post you have been quilting for 20 years, and now your husband is bored and needs something to do, why not use the opportunity to do something you both can grow with? He needs your attention; that is why he sits in your room. Why not get out of your room and do something with him?