I hear you ~ there are days that I struggle not to break out in tears and so many many days that I simply want to reach out and hold them close, especially the little ones but I am not allowed to touch or hold, or even show any emotion. What it teaches me every day, though is the true meaning of unconditional love because no matter what has been done to them ~ they still love their offender, usually a parent and want to go home. It makes it all the more special each time I spend time with my children and each time I hold one of my grandchildren. Of course I've gotten a little parnoid and I run a background check on anyone who might spend time with my grandkids! :-)