That is so sad. I'm sorry that this is happening in your life. Let your heart speak to you about what the young lady likes, maybe think about what she has said about her brother. these would give you clues to help search out a pattern.
Sometimes just looking through patterns without anything specific in mind helps me, because I see a block and a light bulb moment happens. the pattern speaks to me and seems just right for the occasion.
Allow yourself time study this part. I could be wrong, but you sound as if you, too, are in mourning over what the young lady is facing. Whatever you do will be the right thing if it is done in love.