Originally Posted by Feathers
Originally Posted by butterflywing
there must be something wrong with me. when i give a gift, i take into consideration what the person wants, needs, likes. what size, color, etc.
sometimes it's a giftcard. sometimes a toolchest. sometimes a gift of jewelry. but it's always for that person.
that MIL is not doing that. SHE's having fun, doing what SHE likes to do, making quilts. SHE gets satisfaction winnings ribbons. that's fine. if she then wants to pass them along - great! but they are not xmas gifts to anyone else but herself. anyone who gets them is lucky. but let's not confuse gifting with shedding. she gives these quilts once she has no use for them. if she made a quilt for each person and gave it for the pleasure of the intended person, then it would really be a gift. this way she wants three-for-the-money. 1- the joy of the making 2- the pride of the winning and lastly, 3 - the gratitude of the recipient. note the order of importance here.
what if the dil really wanted slipcovers for her carseats? and the kids wanted some electronic game? what if she actually had to forgo buying fabric in order to give someone else the gift they really wanted? in other words, a gift of the heart. what then?
from that paragraph, the dil is not expressing herself well, but she knows that what she's getting IS unneeded castoffs. regardless of their beauty and/or value. that mil has put herself first. that is not a true gift.
shoot me at dawn.
Butterfly: We won't shoot you at dawn! :lol: Your opinion counts and is welcome...all perspectives afford growth and learning experiences as well as helping point out a possible DIFFERENT way of thinking or approaching a subject. Your opinions are a GOOD THING as Martha Stewart would say.
I posted my reply, and in some ways, I think it fit, BUT, after, I read some more replies, including this one, and it makes a lot of sense!
If a person, no matter HOW talented, makes things, KNOWING the recipients don't enjoy them...then they are truly being selfish.
I would NEVER EVER give a gift with strings, and I don't borrow, and rarely lend...just bc I don't want the responsibility of other's stuff on me, and I don't want to lend, bc my kids, don't have the money to replace something if it gets broke.
That is something, hubby and I taught them as children...you borrow-you break-you replace. And now, that they are grown, we still feel that way. We had to scrimp and save to get what we have, so we take care of it...but i digress or bunnytrail...:)
If you call your mother-in-law, a monster-in-law, in front of your children...what do you think they are going to call her?
But, also, If you do things for ppl, with selfish motives...what do you deserve to be called?
These two rub each other and the husband sees it, but he should be quiet. You don't
have to side with your wife, just don't live with her, and side AGAINST her...not smart :wink: